Everything you need to know about romance scams
Romance scams don’t start the way most people expect. Everything appears normal, even convincing. By the time something feels off, the situation has often already escalated.
Romance scams are extremely common in today’s society. The scammers slowly but surely build trust; they can come from dating apps, social media, and even a random, mistaken WhatsApp message.
A random, seemingly harmless message can turn into a meaningful online relationship. It can also be difficult to determine if the situation you are involved in is a scam or if it’s the real thing. This article will explore how romance scams begin, the red flags or signs to look out for to stay safe, what to do if you are involved in one, and when it’s time to engage an investigator.
How Romance Scams Begin
The beginning of romance scams typically starts the same way: a message.
A romance scam can begin on dating apps, social media, a random number, or a comment section. The message feels like a happy coincidence that will usually create a connection between the scammer and the victim.
The scammer will try to move the conversation off the platform rather quickly; they tend to move to platforms like WhatsApp or Telegram which are closed messaging platforms.
Once a connection is established, they will begin furthering communications, easing into talking daily, showing that they are interested, and sharing personal information. All of this is done in an attempt to build trust and leverage emotions. They talk about family, past heartbreaks, or career struggles. They check in constantly and end the day with sweet words. And that comfort is where the emotional hook tightens. Real stories like this interview with Tracy Hall show just how easily emotional dependency can be used as a tool for manipulation.
When the time comes for the scammer to begin talking about money, they hint at a problem and don’t directly request the money to start with. More problems appear, and the requests come with emotional weight, at times making it difficult for the victim to refuse or understand what is happening before it’s too late.
Romance scams often begin through a supposed chance encounter, so a random message or comment might not actually be as random as it seems.
Common Signs of a Romance Scammer
Online dating can be an exciting yet challenging experience. These situations must always be approached with caution. While many find genuine connections through dating apps, the prevalence of romance scams continues to exist, making it important to be vigilant. Being aware of the warning signs and risks can serve as a safety net in your journey of finding love. It’s not always easy to spot a scam when your emotions are involved, which is exactly what the scammers are counting on.
And you should not underestimate romance scammers. The individuals conducting romance scams are skilled, articulate and know exactly how to reel you in and then exploit you for everything you have.
Common red flags or signs to look out for:
They refuse video or phone calls
They create fast emotional attachment
It seems too good to be true
They have inconsistent stories that don’t align
Sudden financial requests
Mentioning investments or cryptocurrency
Trust your instincts: If something feels slightly off, trust your gut. It helps to talk to a family member or friend about what is happening. Sometimes all we need is a fresh set of eyes (and ears) to get us out of our little bubble.
How Romance Scammers Build Trust
Romance scammers rely on building connections quickly and they can do this in several ways. They will often utilise fake and romanticised profiles and pictures to appeal to idealised romance standards. The scammers will create and stick to routine communications, luring the victim into becoming dependent on their presence.
Scammers pick roles that carry automatic respect or trust, like a soldier on deployment or a busy doctor working overseas. These jobs explain the distance, while making them seem dependable and admirable. They may frequently or quickly profess their affections to the victim, a term also known as love bombing.
All these tactics make quick work of building trust. However, whilst romance scammers are very good at quickly building trust, sometimes it is years before any money is requested from the victim. So just because an online romance hasn’t asked for any money within the first few weeks, it doesn’t mean it’s confirmed as safe and genuine. Our scam investigators have had clients who have been in a ‘relationship’ with a romance scammer for as long as 8 years!
What Is Romance Baiting (Romance + Investment Scams)
Romance baiting scams are a new variation of romance scams, according to the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC). To begin with, scammers use the same methods (dating sites and chance encounters) to connect with victims under the pretence of friendship or romance. Instead of asking for money, however, they casually mention lucrative investment opportunities. Often the scammers wait weeks or even months before they mention a trading platform they are using. And sometimes they claim a family member is a trader, often an uncle or an aunt.
The scammer then refers the victim to the trading platform, and the scam turns into more of a traditional investment scam than a romance scam. This is a hybrid tactic, combining romance scam and investment fraud together, hence the term, “romance baiting”.
According to the ACCC’s most recent scam report, $139 million was lost to romance scams, making it the third-largest financial loss in 2025, after investment scams and payment redirection scams. (view report here)
How These Scams Typically Escalate
Romance scams can escalate surprisingly quickly; however, some romance scams can last several years, depending on how long the victim continues to send money to the scammer. These Scammers invest months or even years of their time and can be extremely persistent. Even after the victim no longer has any more money to send, the scammer will often go to the lengths of pressuring them to take out a loan.
The scammers escalate these situations after they have built a connection with the victim. They’ll usually use a few of the following tactics.
Claiming they are involved in emergency scenarios
If the victim does not comply with their requests for money, the scammer may shift their persona to guilt-tripping and blackmail
Promises of paying the victim back. Often romance scammers present themselves as quite wealthy, demonstrating a lavish lifestyle which makes the victim think they will certainly be paid back.
Can You Find Out Who Is Behind a Romance Scam?
Finding out who is behind a romance scam, or any scam, can be done; however, it is not quick and easy. In most cases, scam investigators are required to thoroughly investigate the scammer and identify who they are.If the romance scam is being conducted on a dating app, you may be able to conduct your own investigation into the offender through these specialised tips and tricks to verify their details.
Scammers are often very smart; they have processes and operate in structured networks, and they go to great lengths to keep their identity hidden. In saying that, it is not impossible to identify who is behind the scam. Through IP address tracing, social engineering, following crypto trails and investigations of emails, phone numbers and websites, our investigators are able to identify romance scammers.
What To Do If You Suspect a Romance Scam
If you have concerns about someone you have met online and they have shown traits that align with a romance scammer, we recommend that you do the following to protect yourself.
Do not send any money: If you have already sent money, you may need to contact your bank.
Preserve evidence of the profile or individual: Gathering and keeping evidence of the profile and communications will assist you if you need to conduct an investigation.
Pause communications: You do not need to tell them that you are stopping contact; simply stop responding (for now). An open line of communication can assist an investigation, so you want to maintain the opportunity to reach back out to the scammer if needed.
Conduct your own investigation or contact an expert: Even if you have not sent any funds and you just want them to be held accountable, conducting an investigation is the first step. To get them arrested or recover your money, you need to uncover who they really are.
When to Consider a Professional Investigation
Falling victim to a romance scam can happen to anyone, regardless of one’s intelligence or experience. These scammers are highly skilled at exploiting and manipulating their victims to get what they want.
If you suspect a romance scam or just feel something isn’t adding up, Cybertrace can help. Our team specialises in uncovering fake identities, tracking scammers, and giving you clear answers when things feel uncertain.
Sometimes getting the facts straight can change everything. If you’re second‑guessing someone you met online or want to know who’s really behind that profile, our team works discreetly and provides you with proof you can trust.
We’ve assisted many people throughout the past 10 years and helped them move toward justice. No judgment, just experts who deal with this daily.
Reach out to our team to discuss your options.